Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Jai Guruji (Part of 2 of 2)

Continued from Part 1

Guruji also printed a magazine of himself. This magazine highlighted his achievements. Out of curiosity, I picked up a magazine from my neighbour and found it extremely creative and interesting piece on this earth. 

I was wondering if Guruji was the real Guru of Superman, Spiderman, Batman all superheroes. Here are few examples. Read them at your own risk. I am not responsible if you fall laughing from the chair.

  • His disciple from a country named Congo wrote that his brother died of a road accident. So he came to Guruji (from Congo to India?). Guruji travelled back in time and ensured that his brother did not step out of his house on the day of accident.
  • Another disciple from Austria wrote: he was standing in balcony. For some reason, his balance went off and he fell off from 14th floor. Guruji appeared from nowhere on first floor, caught him and kept him safely on ground floor. Amazing.
  • A disciple from Vietnam writes: he was chased and caught by dacoits in jungle. Just when they were about to shoot him, Guruji appeared there. Guruji converted their shot guns into snakes. Those snakes bit those dacoits. All dacoits dead, Guruji disappeared and disciple safe. LOLsssss
  • The magazine claimed that ACP Pradyuman copied Guruji’s style of shaking right hand fingers.
  • Guruji had a bet with Superman. The one who finishes last in the race was supposed to wear his underwear over the trouser.
  • Aliens often visit Guruji and take his blessings.
I could not stop laughing on the last one. However, I had to keep the magazine down since many of his disciples gave me angry look. I closed my eyes and pretended as if I was doing meditation.
While many were meditating, some were meeting Guruji and telling him their problems. Guruji then gave solutions. I managed to listen to one of the solution and found it so vague and general that it could suit to any problem and any person. Lovely.
Just as Vadapav or pop corn seller with tray comes to all the seats in multiplexes, Guruji’s men too were carrying trays and coming to all the seated disciples. I had a look in one of those trays. These trays were filled with pen, pencils, cricket balls, underwear, baniyan, boxers, arm bands, gloves.... and all these items had picture of Guruji on it. Believe it or not, all items were priced more than 200 times their MRP in market. Awesome cross-selling technique.

It was tempting to meet Guruji and take some business tips and learn how to get money out from other’s pocket. However, those who went and met him, Guruji kissed them on their foreheads. So I avoided that physical closeness and headed to Exit point.

Next day, I saw my friend using pen and diary with a photo of Guruji. P.L. Deshpande was right, Boovashakt is far greater than Yuvashakti in our country.


2 comments:

  1. Andhshradhha ahe faar faar apalya kade ajun :-) But tell me one thing do you agree that Guru of Swami Vivekananad ( Shri ramkrishana paramhans) use to talk to devi kali ?
    I percive it Devi is pratik(symbol) of Shakti ( Mind power) and the control over mind said in yoga.

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    1. I am not at all atheist... I believe in God, be it Kali or any other God.... That was never the point.... It is people who believe in fake miracles performed by the so called saints... if you remember, we had a similar baba in dombivli during early 90s.. he showed that he can generate angara by rubbing his thumb with index finger... it however turned out fake and people discovered that he had a pipe concealed in his sleeve from which he use to pour the angara........
      All I wanted to say was beware of such people.... if at all you need some baba or a link to God, choose them carefully.....

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