Thursday, April 17, 2014

Better half can make or break things

How many times we come across couples who complain against each other. 60% of those couples have personal finance (rather, lack of it) as the reason for fights. It starts with money and slowly goes to other things. This is the exact reason why Subramoney advices every couple to see each other's financial traits and then tie the knot.
Let us see what are the typical scenarios and what the couple should foresee (from money perspective):
  • Check each other's spending habits. He/She may be suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder of spending or buying online. Believe me, this is a disease. It definitely kills the positive cash pattern.
  • He/She may easily be pulled into bad product. Example: A guy could not say no to hot/sexy/young girl/lady selling XYZ product. Product may not be bad but the reason is.
  • Vacation is another sensitive issue. Read how my wife saved me from exclusive packages, "here". Some people may like lavish vacations while their spouse may like going to places which are close to mother nature (with their respective spouses :P). Trade off between the two may be difficult.
  • Husband may buy furniture from wife's PF account. A sin. Wife may or may not know the impact. Remember the survey which said that life expectancy of wives are more than husband? Wife suffered for no fault of hers (except for not able to say NO).
  • Remember Bichoo movie? The husband is pulled into crime syndicate just to satisfy wife's materialistic needs. The husband simply could not muster courage to say NO (btw, it is really difficult to say NO if your wife is Dolly Bindra).
  • Wife working as daily labour and hubby enjoying that money in Deshi Daru shop. Sad but true.
  • Husband working full time in a private company and increasing his income by becoming LIC agent part time. Wife high on jewellery and cosmetics.
  • Wife enjoys frugality while husband has party every weekends. Add liquor and credit card and it is sure a recipe for disaster.
There could be N number of examples.

The point is before you say "I do", check his/her traits. Some people say that you have to talk and convince or prove to his/her spouse how their spending pattern is affecting the whole family. This is a solution, only if other party is willing to change. Some people are so close minded that they cannot hear their own prayers.

During courtship or when the talks are in the initial stage, drop some hints. Check how the other party reacts. Talk on personal finance, see their expressions. Casually check CC usage. Ask if he/she is ok living in a joint family. If not, how are they going to sponsor new home? Would it be parents, bank or would it be renting as an option.  
Check what are his/her views on your religion/caste (in case of love marriages). This is often ignored but becomes killer post marriage. See how and who is going to provide for girl's parents if they were dependent on her pre-marriage. Yesterday, I met a girl who refuses to marry because every prospective groom from her community rejects the idea of supporting her parents financially. Good that she is bold and brings the topic during first meeting itself. However, this is affecting her personality. She has increasingly become more frustrated and angry (don't know with whom). Sad, true.
By God's grace, I got similar thinking wife. Most of the time we are on the same page. Disagreements are there, off course. But that is part and parcel of marriage, right?

So the conclusion is, look before you leap. Consequences of not due diligence could be extra marital affairs, suicide and murders. Think.


  1. I'm thankful to GOD that most of the time me and my better half are on same wavelength. :)