Sunday, June 1, 2014

My first airport experience

I have no idea why we are always late where we are supposed to reach on time. It is about time that the scientists and mathematicians invent some formula for this. It could be something like : the probability to reach on time varies inversely with the importance of reaching on time. Pattu can help here. So to cut short more lines on being late, I was running late for airport.

I had planned to leave home by 9.30 in the morning to reach airport by 10 for a flight of 1 pm. I had ordered for few theplas (Gujarati food… ummm I love it…). The lady told me to collect it by 9 in the morning of travel date. I left my baggage at home and went to collect theplas. Started by 8.50. I took my Scooty went there. Oops, there were few one ways and traffic jams. Reached at aunt’s place by 9.15. the lady was more than punctual. She had packed all the theplas in a clean plastic bag and was waiting at the building entrance. I thanked here and came home by 9.25. Now, it was just a matter of keeping my two bags in car and off to airport. I thought, I was still running on schedule (pronounced as skhedule by friends who stayed in Europe for few months. I hope, I do not pronounce ‘simple’ as ‘simble’ if I stay for few months in Chennai. By the way, I watched Chennai Express in airplane… Sorry off the topic). My uncle helped to put the bags in the boot of the car. While shutting the boot, my uncle noticed that the tyre was puncture. Shit…. Why dint I checked it yesterday night…. Thank God, the mechanic was just 2 buildings away. We took the car to his garage. There were 2 holes in the tyre. It took him 15 minutes and cost me 300 rupees. Anyways, I paid him and started at 9.50.

I dint know there were few more surprises ahead. Suddenly, it seemed that only the way by which we were traveling had more cars and the signal turned red often. I guess, this is what Einstein tried to explain by his theory of relativity. My uncle too was on the verge of panic. He took the responsibility to drop me off to the airport by his car (Sorry, I forgot to tell you that my uncle parked his car at my residence 2 days back.). In this tension, he took wrong turn and we landed in altogether different area. We took some more U turns and finally, we reached airport. 

I thought the counter must have closed by now. It was 10.30 already. Again, thank God, the counter was still open and I jumped inside the airport doors and breathed a sigh of relief. It took few seconds for the security guy to understand why I jumped. I guess, if I did not have passport and other papers in my hand, I would not be alive to write this post. Heard that CISF have shooting permission. Once the checkin was done, I moved towards security area. One big moustached security guy asked me “travelling again to srilanka?”. I was confused. I had opened my passport for the first time after it was issued. It was 8 years back. I was about to open my mouth when somebody from my behind spoke “no, this time going to dubai”. Just by not opening my mouth, I avoided an embarrassing situation. Imagine, me telling him “no, it is not srilanka and I am going outside Maharashtra for the second time” and he telling me “I did not ask you either, idiot”. I would have become a gossip star for people around. I had to go from the scanner for security check. Except for the pen, I had nothing which can be remotely used as weapon. So the security part was done.

I moved towards immigration center. It was complete chaos over there and it took me almost 1 hour to get out of it. It was 12.30 already. I reached the terminal gate just in time. There was an announcement for ladies with children and senior citizens to come forward for boarding. So I decided to sit somewhere. Then subsequently, everybody was asked to come for boarding. I don’t know why people suddenly rushed towards the boarding gate as if it was local train and if not boarded immediately, it would leave you at the station for next packed local. If any of the reader has experience of going to single screen cinema, then he can very well understand how would be the scene. The lady over there just put a sign of boarding and all gathered over there. Similar to a boy with cigarette, opening the single screen door and all people rush towards inside the theatre. I do not what is the hurry to watch those local jewelers add. Finally, I boarded the flight.
The flight personnel and air hostess have the most difficult job in the world. They are supposed to have 1 inch make up, lipstick (donno if lipstick is included in make up for ladies. But since the quantity of lip stick was so huge, I thought of mentioning here.), serve and help people (mostly rude people) and all this with all out smile (showing all the teeth).  I hope, their salary matches the effort. They are subjected to jet lag every day. Wonder what they eat to fight acidity. 

I could see a wide range of people in the flight. Some people like me were nervous as it was their first flight. Some were showing such an attitude that they themselves fly the plane. Some were helpful and some were plain disconnected with others. The lady sitting next to me dozed off the minute we sat on our chairs and woke up only when the destination arrived. Amazing, I could not sleep for a minute. I had to watch movies for timepass. Few ladies were busy in managing their children and few were busy in managing their make ups. Oh, by the way, we had a TV actress in our plane. She had a makeup equal to collective make up of 3-4 air hostesses. Surprisingly, she was down to earth and let other ladies take photographs with her. 

There were few nexgeneration guys who were standing out in a crowd due to their appearance. Wonder how their parents do not get heart attack by seeing such fashion icons in the morning. Imaging, you woke up in the morning at 6, did all your chores and suddenly you see your child leaving for college (official reason). The boys were wearing red skin tight trouser and girls wore ultra skin tight half pants. Every person in that group was wearing amazingly radium colors on their body. Some had radium color shoes, some had scarfs, girls were having radium color lipsticks and so on. The boys were talking about upcoming movies and the girls were talking about extra chilled ac in the plane. The girls probably, forgot the basic clothes principal. Lesser the clothes, more is the body part exposed and prone to outside atmosphere and hence you would feel more heat or coldness. However, this generation also showed very kind attitude towards their fellow passengers. The boys were helping other senior citizens to keep their luggage on the top drovers. The girls too were helping other ladies. This next generation has something of everything. They love fashion, they love people, they love charity, they love their job, they love their parents, they love whiskey, they love violent video games, they love everything.
People with passport of other nations except the destination nation were asked to fill up a landing form. This was to be submitted to the immigration department at the destination airport. We landed on schedule. We had to take few lifts, few escalators and walk few distance to get to immigration department. Again there was chaos. All the people were trying to get cleared as soon as possible. The chaos and number of people were multiplied by 4 times, as 4 planes landed at the same time. You could easily pick Indians over there. 2-3 gents wore sun glasses inside dimly lit immigration center at 7pm. Those were Indians. Then, there were people with huge amount of luggage, few people were simply on photography stroll, few were helping other passengers with their luggage, few were praying for safe landing, all these people were Indians. It took good 90 minutes to get out of it. 

Then I went for baggage collection. The bags were rolling on the rubber belt. Somebody’s besan’s bag must have been tore. The belt was full of besan. I picked up my bag and dusted off the besan. I felt pity for the loss of besan. Main ingredient of batata bhaji, kanda bhaji, vada pav and dhokla was lying on luggage belt. 

Finally, bought sim card over there and made a call to my prepaid taxi driver. Surprisingly, buying sim card here is as good as buying a chocolate. No documents, no proofs, no signatures… just pay the amount and get the card, put it in your phone and off the road.The driver arrived in 2 minutes flat and we arrived at the hotel in 30 minutes drive. The hotel door has a lock for which the key is not the normal key it is a card, similar to our ATM card. We just have to swipe it and wait for 1-2 seconds and the door opens. I am being told that this type of locks are available in Indian hotels (mostly 3 star and above) from last 5 years too.


  1. I enjoyed the humor part in this post. Indeed the life of Air hostess is very tough.




    1. #7 and #11 are SOOOOO true for me... ROFL seeing the pictures :)